Friday funny…

I appreciate I have to update on a lot of things and I will when I’m having a better day/week/year/life… but for now just a tale of woe which just might amuse you… at my expense, naturally!

So picture the scene. Busy, stressful day at work. Worsening Parkinson’s symptoms which make walking difficult and frankly painful. But two dogs that need walking. I could get someone else to walk them but then Parkinson’s has won and I’m not ready for that yet. So I’m wearing my funny Parkinson’s t-shirt but I’ve removed my terrible bra. It’s not a good look but who is going to see me? And do I care… honestly?! I don my utility belt and shackle the hounds and step outside. It’s muggy and raining but not actually raining, just that horrible wet air that has dramatic frizzing effects on my usually flawlessly smooth hair (now that I’m a local celebrity I have standards to maintain!)… We set off and it’s going well until we reach the golf course. Obi decided that he didn’t want to share his evening walk with Selka and kept knocking her off her feet. She responded by wrapping herself around my legs. It was slow progress as we edged our way to Obi’s favourite pond. Me spinning my way out of tangled dogs and leads and them binding me as quickly as I was released. What possessed me to use two extending leads?! Obi soon became distracted with squirrel hunting and Selka trotted along happily. Harmony was briefly restored… very briefly! As we reached Obi’s favourite pond, he commenced his usual activity of heron watching and fishing. Selka, not to be outdone, copied Obi’s every move. As we were watching the heron fly noisily into the distance, I missed the fact that Selka had stepped backwards into Obi’s favourite pond. Realising she hadn’t joined in the heron watching, I turned to find her scrambling out of the murky pond water. Great – wet dog!! I took that as our cue to head home, and rattling my utility belt as an incentive to head off, I tried to persuade a now reluctant wet pup to move. After much coaxing and cajoling we were moving again in a very spinny, trip-hazardy fashion… but we were moving! Just as I was congratulating us on the progress made, I heard someone shouting near by. I put Obi back on the lead and we carried on . The shouting got louder and it soon became apparent that they were calling a dog. Not again!!! I girded my loins and readied myself for the attack. We stood firm and waited for the inevitable…. And waited… eventually a tiny little dog came running over to us. And it just stood. The owners of the little dog were very apologetic but could they catch it?! By the time they did, Obi was in a frenzy of excitement and Selka was resolutely refusing to budge. Great… so I picked up the soaking wet dog and dragged the other spinning, back-flipping hound away from the lovely Polish family who had sensibly decided to restrain their pooch, trying to look as though I was in control but failing miserably. As I bent down to pick up Selka, my lack of underwear was very apparent under my gaping t-shirt but I didn’t have a free hand to cover my embarrassment. I shifted Selka into my other arm, exposing a now wet t-shirt. Not a good look under any circumstances but I chose to front it out as I turned to say goodbye to the Polish family. No idea what sort of impression I made but it wasn’t a good one… By now I’m struggling with symptoms and carrying a wet dog, being semi dragged along by another dog who clearly would have preferred to go home with the lovely Polish family… What ever you’re imagining is probably accurate but were you imagining this…??!!! Happy Friday!!